


I Just Want To Stop the Scars that Grow

by Whistlesnbells



Category: community tv - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, Post Season Six, au where annie doesn’t get the internship, no one actually gets hurt please dont worry, rant/vent fic, season six, tw/cw suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:15:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26297758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whistlesnbells/pseuds/Whistlesnbells
Summary: Jeff clearly favors the “original Annie.” But Annie has worked so hard on improving herself and growing for the better. One day she receives a devastating letter. Was it all for naught?**cw/tw for talk of s**c*de, please be wary!!!**
Relationships: Annie Edison/Britta Perry
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	I Just Want To Stop the Scars that Grow

**Author's Note:**

> This is very loosely inspired by the song “My R.” Anyways, I wanted to explore Annie’s reaction to Jeff’s out-of-line comment about her old self being better in S6E13. Annie is so focused on being perfect/ the best, i feel like a comment saying that she was better before all the work she did to grow as a person woud cut deeply.
> 
> This will have more chapters, its not a one-shot. I dont know how to edit it though so uhhhh 1/? lol

Annie sat at the kitchen counter of apartment 303 with a letter in her hands. It had been on the table, next to a ripped open envelope and a note from Britta that read “Call me if you need anything.” Her hands were trembling as she sat in shock. A few hours ago, she had come home from dropping Abed off at the airport. She wished that she had only come home to gather her things before her flight to DC the next day. For the first time, she caught herself longing to be away from Greendale.

She often thought about what Jeff had said about her, that night at the bar. They were imagining their seventh consecutive year together, or as Abed always said, season seven. Jeff’s pitch was nice, but seemed focused on her. She wasn’t surprised. He had been chasing her all year, trying to revive the feelings she had for him when they were sophomores, but he made her wait so long… There was just nothing there anymore. He rambled on about the gang reuniting as teachers, and it honestly sounded fun for a little bit.

“...But look! It’s the original Annie!!” Jeff said in a high-pitched, surprisingly accurate Annie impression. 

Annie froze. _Original Annie_? She completely tuned him out as he finished explaining, drowning herself in her own thoughts. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. She looked up and realized that the group was awaiting her reaction. She plastered a smile on her face and made a half hearted comment about missing skirts. He had left early.

Now she had this god- awful letter in her hands. She read the opening words over and over again. _We regret to inform you…_

She wasn’t about to lie and say that she had every qualification, half of a forensics degree at Greendale wasn’t quite a shining trophy. But she expected more from them. No, she expected more from herself.

“Maybe Jeff was right,” Annie whispered to herself, “Maybe I was better before Greendale.”

She put the letter back down on the counter, and slowly, shakily arose from her chair. She stepped into her room and pulled out one of her oldest outfits- a simple black tank, a floral skirt, and a yellow cardigan. It was an ensemble she wore no later than her first two years at Greendale. She put it on, and somehow felt even more filthy than she had before. 

Thoughts raced around Annie’s mind. Awful thoughts, that she couldn’t shake. _I don’t get it. I spent all those years trying to improve myself. Convincing myself that Greendale was a good place for good people. Yet, if I’ve truly changed for the worse… If I can’t even land a stupid internship in the one field I love_ …

Annie Edison was no longer in control of her body. She felt tears streaming down her face as she opened the window in her room. She instinctively climbed out of it, onto the fire escape below. The cool night breeze seemed to push her along, guiding her to the railing. The view wasn’t much at all, just a brick wall with an alleyway below it, bustling with traffic. She lifted her legs over the railing and stared intently at the street below her. Tears ran down her cheeks in gallons, yet, she felt oddly calm. _It doesn’t look so far down._

Just a few minutes earlier, the front door clicked open, and an exhausted, exasperated Britta stumbled through. 

“Annie? Are you home? You never called, so I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.” Britta wandered the apartment, searching for her roommate. Just as she set down her things, she felt a breeze coming from Annie’s room.

Annie swallowed hard and positioned her hands on the railing.

 _Three_ …

Britta walked over to Annie’s room and noticed the open window, her drapes floating in the wind.

 _Two_ …

She peered out the window, and noticed her friend. She registered Annie’s position on the railing, quickly connected the dots and leapt out onto the fire escape.

 _One_.

Annie attempted to push off, but she met Brittas arms, firmly holding her around her torso. She didn’t turn around. She just sat there, letting abject fear of what had just happened paralyze her. Britta held her tightly as Annie’s sobs overcame her. The two stayed that way for a short while, both of them terrified to let go of one another.

“ _Was I better before_?” Annie asked, her voice shaky, and barely above a whisper. 

“You’re perfect, Annie. Just the way you are.” 

Britta finally helped Annie off the ledge and they collapsed on the bed nearby. Britta held Annie close as she released all of her pent up sadness, anxieties and self-hatred. She didn’t dare interrogate her, or try to “therapize” her. She was afraid she would do more harm than good. Eventually, Annie wore herself out. It was a long and exhausting day, and the recent events certainly did not help. Yet, she felt so safe and comfortable in her friend’s arms. She felt at home. Annie looked up at the Blonde and muttered a small “Thank you,” before dozing off against her chest. Britta’s eyes brimmed with tears, finally letting herself feel the pain from seeing her friend so deeply hurt. As long as she was beside Annie, she could ensure that she was safe. That’s all she ever wanted.


End file.
